Boys, Boys and more... Boys...

HOPE starts monday so that'll be fun! I want to meet new people so I actually have some friends to hang out with lol. But I do have Kyla, I love ya Kyla lol. Yah, Ive been talking to my ex lately. He says he wants to hang out sometime, so im debating if thats as friends or something else. Id be happy if it went either way which is wierd saying but I guess it'd be fun to go out again.(and actually see him this time) But I dont think he meant it like that. So, we'll see ^_^. Sergio's in Brazil. And last night I got an email and he told be about this valentine's day thing there. So later that night I called kyla and she told me he wrote "Don't freak ashli" on his blog. So i broke out in hysterical laughter and was like "What's that supposed to mean" but Kyla explained that he turned down people who just wanted to make out for fun so KOODOS TO SERGIO!! Im proud of ya(and me cuz my work paid off hehehehehe (X )lol. but seriously, nice work Sergio. I have this problem with my mom cuz she thinks im boy crazy when ever I go around a cute boy. Of course Im going to act differently I mean, im a teenage girl, with raging hormones(so is ryan) lol (remember kyla) =). I just really am looking forward to being in a seriosu relationship. Is that so wrong? I want a boyfriend to care about me and actually plan to see me whenever possible. And all my passed relationships(which we only 3 and each lasted a week)(pathetic I know) weren't really true or happy. Zack I dont even CONSIDER as a relationship. He scares me... Michael was, but I was completely in love with someone else, and Dalton could have been. Hes the one I said i was talking to lately. I really likes Dalton. But he dumped me the night before we were planning on going to a dance. Which would have been like my first date ever so of course i cried, lol, but it did hurt. Wow, Im rambling. But that's what this blog is for, right? My own diary. ^_^

Never-Ending Boredom...

Wow. Summer just drags on and on. Atleast Hope starts monday. I can't wait to make new friends. Atleast some that live in North Port. I rented this PS2 game from blockbuster. Its called Jak X: Combat Racing(Jak Games are my FAV!) lol. But It was pretty good. It was a bit hard but I beat it none the less, lol. Any of my friends out there, CALL ME. Or plan to get together, I need my friends! ^_^

Gaia...

Well my sister showed me this cool website last night. Its called Gaia and you can make a character. Its just like Conquer except you dont have to download anything and theres no killing =). You can make a girl or a boy and give them clothes, play games, go into chat rooms WITH your character and meet peeps, build houses, buy cars. Its kind of cool. I just thought I should mention it and say if any of you would like to play, go on! My character is... I forget. lol. Ill figure it out ^_^

Loneliness...

I miss everyone! I am so miserable! I feel like a drug-addict withdrawn from drugs(wierd but true). I need my best friends. I hate not seeing ANYONE. I miss you all. I miss looking forward to getting nagged at for not hugging michael right(yes I like hugging michael(= ), I miss poking wars with Kyla(even if they're sort of annoying lol), I really miss talking to Julia. When ever I had a problem I can go to her. And just recently I really felt like old times, when I didnt have to be sad inside for not seeing her, now I dont see her again! Julia I miss you so much! I miss you Kyla so much! I miss you lala! I miss you michael... ok im going to do this in list form.. julia, kyla, sunny, lala, michael, yvonne, rebecca, jennifer, molly, alexis, jonathan, and the whole science gang(christian, alex, nick and peeps i already mentioned). Im so happy with summer and high school, but i want my friends!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH

!Summer!...

The best time of the year is finally here! SUMMER! Ive done i guess lots so far already lol. The last day of school was sad because on the bus, me and kyla realized everything we're leaving behind now that wwe're freshmen(yay and nay) but im still happy. We cried, but it was a good cry. I can't belive im already in highschool. It seems like yesterday I was sitting in front of the tv "potty-training" butt naked =). I know im wierd, deal with it. Well, last night I spent the night at nicole's. It was SO much fun. We watched South Park and it was hilarious! I don't think i should describe, lol. All i know is... TACO FLAVORED KISSES!! =) (Don't ask) We played DDR and PacMan ALL night long. It was fun! Well, I miss EVERYONE! Call me you guys!(Well the peeps out in the world that i know, lol)

Macauley's House...

Today I went to Macauley's house to work on our shakespeare project. It is gonna be awesome! It was originally just me and macauley and we had fun. We rehearsed our lines and found costumes. Now for the fun part, but then Alexis came. So we had to make sure the dress fit her(i have to be a dude by the way lol). So she tried it on and it got stuck. And so we're all there trying to shove this dress off of Alexis. And Alexis is like, "Good thing Jonathan isn't here, because he would have been in the hall anyway while we're changing, and would have heard us going like UH UH AHH lol and be like What the HELL?!" LOLOL It was SO frickin funny!And so to top that off, we still had to find a dress for Alexis so almost every one we tried got stuck. It was SO funny. But yah. Oh, and today, I was reading my friend Sergio's blog and if you have been reading mine you would know we're in a sticky situation right now. But I was reading and thinking about it all so i'm posting this here for the world to see... Sergio, I'm sorry for being hard-headed and sutbborn. I just have lost so many friends and when you said the things you did, I paniced. Im sorry. I want to talk again, I want to have hilarious random outbursts of laughter, I just want everything to be the way it used to be. And now I can't but feel this is all my fault for overreacting to the things you said. Yah they still bug me and I still am confused to an extent but I want my sergio back. Will you forgive me?

My Sister Might Join Us...

My big sissy might join us! She might become a fellow blogger! ^_^. I guess that'd be cool... I think... Lol. I'm joking. I love my sister. Her name is Amber, she's cool. I guess... ^_^

The Issues Are Building...

Today was I guess ok. Sergio sat with me again, and this time he didn't say anything. Quite frankly I can barely even look at him because when ever I do my head floods with questions. But forget about that. I had History finals again today. THEY WERE SO HARD! She made us do a timeline and fill in events and crap. I walked in to the classroom and was like, "Oh... I'm screwed." ^_^ But yah. And then I feel really bad because I fell asleep on Kyla on the bus today. She was probably bored out of her mind. I'm sorry kyla, =). And once I got home, I met up with my best friend Nicole at the bridge. It was GREAT to see her but it was close to storming so I was a bit scared. I am scared to DEATH of storms, even tiny gray clouds in the sky. I know, it's pathetic, lol. But yah, there was lots to talk about with her. But even though some of them weren't all that great, I loved it. I felt like I was getting my old best friend back, and that's what I want ^_^. I've known Nicole since kindergarten and don't want to lose her ^_^. Love you too Nicole! (By the way I am not lesbo everybody, I just love my friends like sisters lol)

Finals...

Today was so slow and boring. I had two finals today. History I was worried about but it was ok. Then came french. French was SO frickin easy... im not even joking. Its so funny because in sixth and seventh grade, when ever we would read a dialogue or watch a movie in french we'd always laugh and make fun of the people because we didn't understand it. But now, I can read actual books and watch actual movies. I don't know, I just feel so proud. ^_^ But yah, nothing is really new. My best friend Kyla, and I love her to death, but is kind of seeming strange because she is so set on me making up with Sergio. But i wont sell out because for once, im going to stand up for myself. BUT YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART KYLA, AND IM SAYING THIS BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'LL BE READING THIS! ^_^ But yah...

I Don't Understand...

Wow. Lot's have happened in the past day and a half. Sergio, my best friend, said some things last night, and I just honestly, truly do not understand. He keeps saying you're taking it the wrong way and all and he didnt mean anything by it, but that doesn't change the fact that he said it. People do things for reasons, and there has to have been a reason why. But yet, he won't tell me. Things may get all better but that will always be with me no matter what. Friendships take effort, it's not enough... All these things added up don't make me feel any better. And then, I go to school today and after first period, he walks up and hugs me like nothing ever happened! It's just... i don't even know. I may be overreacting but I know what he said, and they all weren't positive. There's nothing he can say that will make me think otherwise. I just need my space right now. Today at lunch was so awkward. He sits with me every tuesday and so I had to sit there, feeling miserable, putting on a fake smile just so it wouldn't be awkward. Oh but it was. I was dieing inside, feeling torn up. I just don't get it. I just don't.