Busy Weekend...

Well im gonna be a busy bee this weekend. I have to go to a cross country race tomorrow morning then i go to madi's and babysit 3 4yearolds then i dont know bout sunday but yah. itll be hecktic lol . did i spell that rite? but yah. im so happy for nicole she and the guy shes been liking a lot finally hooked up. and things with me and max are all good now. schools kind of been good lately. actually, not good, great. I love my friends. i love them all. i dont know what i would do. like, i walk into campus, and i look at our group, and see everyone laughing and smiling, i just feel so lucky. i have great friends. and none of them are the kind of people who do drugs or smoke or anything. they're just there for me when i need them. They're my family. They're the only ones i got. But yah. I dont know why lately but ive been really wanting to sing a lot. I love singing ^_^. i can just express myself with no ifs, ands or buts. I love it ^_^. But yah. Things with kyla and zac are kind of cooled down. I felt so bad for zac. he felt so crushed. he texts me one night and is like i am 60% sure she likes me xP and im just like good 4 u ^_^ but inside im like, she doesnt like u dude. plz dont get ur hopes up cause ull just be shot out of the sky. but it all worked out. I have to support McCain in this debate thing in history class. I wanted to be one of the ones who dont have a side cause, quite frankly, i HATE politics. i could care less. But, being the good person that i am, and the fact that no one would volunteer and i wanted to get the hell out of there, im like w.e. Emily's going with Austin to the dance tonight. I thought that was cute. I could tell when i looked at him that he had a thing for emily. It was cute ^_^. But other than that life's good. I got some random comment by someone the other day telling me to get the fuck off sergio's back. And i just wanna say if they ever read my blog again, they dont know the whole story. Sergio has done things b4 that i bet anything u dont know and he and i have gotten in fights. out of nowhere he told me that our friendship isnt working, as in he doesnt wanna be my friend, while the whole time i thought he was my best friend. Then he starts saying that pretty much all these things i do piss him off so much and he cant stand me sometimes. and im like umm ok? and it all came out of nowhere. and now this? I just dont wanna deal with it anymore. who ever you are, i dont care if you think im a bitch. Go ahead. Ive been through too much already and im not gonna take any shit in my life anymore. Im going to enjoy this one life that i have and live it to the fullest. And i wont surround myself by people who wont let me do that. I love my life. I hate some of my experiences, but if i didnt have them, i wouldnt be who i am today. And if i wasnt who i am, i wouldnt have the ones that i love in my life. I wouldnt have my friends. I love you guys =).

Ugh...

Well everythin about today is nothing compared to what happened once i left school. Ive been so stupid. I always say that I hate players and i cant stand them and ugh. And they just literally make me sick to think some1 could be so cruel when it comes to someones love. Love is giving someone the ability to break your heart, but trusting them enough not to. Yet people abuse that power. Well yah. Well turns out max is the biggest player on the face of the planet. I thought he was different. I thought he had everything. The looks, personality, loyalty, honesty. The conversations weve had he sounded so sweet and everything id ever want. And now, i find out hes the biggest player and ive been so stupid! How could i let myself fall for someone like that! it pisses me off! I just wanna scream at him. But julia told me something. He knows no better. To him its ok. To me, its horrible. I just... i thought he was different.

Ok Day..

Today was ok i guess. Nothing really exciting happened. I don't know. It's wierd. I feel like my life is passing too fast. I feel sad, happy, loved, lonely, excited and scared all at the same time. I don't know. It's not that im sad or anything, but im out of it kind of. Im not happy, but im not sad. I dont know how to describe it. Its all so annoying. Emotions are annoying lol. Well today was ok. Art was kind of fun. Max wanted me to sing for him but i just couldnt. So we texted earlier and i promised him i would sing tomorrow so i need to sing for him. I even promised with my whole heart, stupid me -.- hahaha. And then, that was ok. Then french which was really boring. I had an mp3 player today tho so i was listening to that and texting people all day long. Mainly Julia and my cousin Jamie. I love the fact that i can talk to jamie now with no worries. I miss her so much. But yah. The rest of the day was just a blah. lol. I guess it went fast. And then on the bus kyla COMPLETELY falls over into the isle hahaha! it was so funny! <3 lol. And now i am emily's bitch xP. <3.

Max, Sergio and Kyla...

Well thats all this weekend really has been based around. Me and max having been texting like literally ALL weekend. I love talking to him. Hes so much fun and hes really sincere when u need to talk to him. We have this list going of things we MUST do together lol. We're gonna do a paint fight, water fight, embarassment fight, dancing crazy, tackling eachother in the dark, guitar hero competition and watching scary movies xP. I just hope that maybe i could get a chance with him. Who knows it might happen it might not. Ive always been attracted to him, even when julia had her fling with him, but now that i know him, i like him even more. I hope i like dont offend julia or anything tho. She says that she's kind of having problems with him and stuff so i dont know. All i know is i like him a lot lol. Well, saturday I went to the Cross Country meet. I did pretty damn awesome. I got 2 minutes off my time and i literally sprinted the whole last quater mile. I ROCKED! haha. I was so proud of kyla too. I hung out with Tyler and T-bone a lot on the way up there and back and there lol. And then me, kyla and ashelyn hung out with craig and zac. Craig, the team would so not be the same if he wasnt on it lol. We all stopped for Miccy D's afterwards on the way back. But yah. Later that night I went over to help Kyla and her family work on their g-ma's house. Me and Kyla started attacking eachother with paint and we were all singing and dancing to music haha. Their like my family, i wouldnt be anything without kyla lol. Shes my alter ego hahahahahaha. And then yah. OH! before i went to kyla's g-ma's place i had to go to this dinner party. It wasnt as bad as i thought it was gonna be. Mainly because a friend of my aunt sharon's just had her new baby girl named Ruby. She's only a few months old and i took care of her and AWW she was so cute! i didnt wanna leave she was so adorable. I was lightly tickling her little feet and she started to smile and awww it was so cute ^_^. But yah. Now its today and i did all my chores. Then i went back over to hang with kyla again. She had to leave early tho so me and her sis hung out for a bit which was fun. Now for the shitty part of my weekend. I got ina fight with sergio a few days ago. And like, we had different views but he just doesnt get it. Im really pissed, and if you didn't notice my motto b4; Judge me and i'll prove you wrong, tell me what to do and ill tell you off, say im not worth it and watch where i end up, call me a bitch and ill show you one, fuck me over and ill do it to you twice as bad, call me crazy and you really have no idea. But then he goes on his blog and writes stuff and he completely twisted what happened and added things that didnt even happen and some people who r my friends 2 read that. So way to go sergio, way to go. So im just sick of it. We always get in fights and he just over all pisses me off. IM SICK OF IT!! Theres always something wrong with him. He was perfectly fine 2 weeks ago when his hormones were high and wanted to make out with everything in sight and now oh he has a sudden problem with all of that. He has good friends he can talk to and he just STILL is all im depressed. If you were really depressed act it. You are perfectly fine the day before then out of nowhere hes been all depressed. GET OVER IT. You're not alone. People go through way worse stuff than you in the world. Be grateful of the things u do got. So, in the event that i knew we would always have fights and i literally feel sick to my stomach from being so pissed and annoyed, i told him to have a good life. Im done with his drama and he can just leave me the fuck alone.

Three Day Weekend...

Well we have a three day weekend this weekend ^_^. And of course Im doing nothing during it -.- lol. Well ill just tell you all about my day. In art I hung out with Max all period. He's so cool ^_^. I love how he just has fun but can still be serious when he needs to be ^_^. But yah. We talked bout all sorts of stuff xP. And then Anna came over so I was talking to her too. And then Max and I didn't realize what time it was and it was time to go so we had to run back to the class room and max was running carrying a chair and im like OMG cause he jumps a trash can! haha. I love hanging out with him ^_^. But yah. And the I went to french and we had a substitute so I worked ahead on science. Strangely math went by fast and then lunch. And then ringo which was ok. I fake argued with Luke like always lol. And then came johnston which was the funnest lol. Me and Julia were talking and we got into this conversation of murder lol. And so shes like so whyd you do it ashli? and it was all just fun lol. And then Julia didnt know that Gerard Butler played the phantom of the opera and 300 and im just like DUDE how do u not know that? lol. it was jsut a fun day. Kyla wasnt here though. I hope you feel better ^_^. But yah. Not to be rude, but if kyla was here today, then i wouldnt have been able to hang out with max in art so in a way its good. But it was wierd lol. Kylas always there with me and she wasnt 0.o KYLA GET BETTER hahahah ^_^.

Ok Best Bus Convo Ever...

Ok yah obviously all of you people already know that kyla and I aren't normal, and are EXTREMELY wierd lol. But ok. So we were on the afternoon bus yesterday and were talking and so here's what happened. We started talking and out of no where im just like ok you know whats scary? and shes like what and im like making out for the first time. im scared to death, i mean, i dont even know what to do. So then kyla's like well i think its just natural. im like but still, its still scary. So shes like ok heres how you make out. stick your tongue down their throat and feel them up! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH nice kyla. And im like oh real nice. And shes like just go with the flow of the ocean and so i try to rill my tongue like a wave and shes like are you practicing making out in the air? haha and im likes yes, yes i am lol. so yah xP. And then yah. Dallas and Kayla broke up. Dallas was really upset and stupid so i called him last night and made sure he was ok ^_^. It was nice cause i hope he sees that i care about him and his wellbeing and am making sure that he never is stupid again. Hear that Dallas, I havent forgotten to slap you xP. But yah. And then we have friday off from school so that's nice. I was gonna see if Dallas wants to come over but he already has plans so im just like ok. So maybe kyla or Max could come over. I was talking to max in class bout him coming over to go swimming in art class so that'd fun. Max is so much fun to hang out with lol. We're always getting in these play fights and messing around and having fun ^_^. But yah.

ORLANDO...

This weekend was SO much fun! Ok ima start from the beginning. Art was awesome friday because max hung out with me and kyla so we all got in this play fight thing and it was fun. And i gave max a tattoo xP. And so then me and kyla got out of school early because we had to meet the team at the gas station but they hadnt even left the school yet so kyla, her mom and i went into this halloween store. And so me and kyla are sitting there having a sword fight and kyla's mom puts an afro on kyla and omg it was SO funny! and then like kyla's mom got hypnotized by a witch haha and then me and kyla's mom started doing the thriller because the song came on xP. everyone was like what the hell? haha. But yah. Turns out me and kyla had to ride with Dallas, Mateo, T-bone and Tyler because the girls van was full. But, im actually glad we got to. I like hanging out with the guys more. They're all more fun and less pissy. I swear this weekend every single girl other than me and kyla wanted to rip another girl's throat out. And then Ashelyn takes things out of proportion and just because someone was mad at her she started writing poems about how her life is miserable and shes all alone. I tried to be nice but i started getting really pissed when she treated kyla liek shit. she did it ALL weekend and all kyla was doing was being nice and wanting to help. And then like, i was sitting with tyler and dallas having a nice convo, and ashelyn notices and sits RIGHT in between them and ruins it all and i swear i should have punched her. But anyways, the car ride up to orlando was so much fun! me, kyla and dallas all hung out. We were playing this game and dallas kept play hitting me so we got in this play fight and yah SO much fun. But we got there and checked in to the hotel and then we all went for a run then went to cici's for dinner. Ashelyn really pissed me off there because she on purposely was pissing off kyla. she started talking about their adoption and how they have brothers and sisters and she was like yah kyla hates talking about it so im gonna talk about it. After that my favorite part of the night was when we went to Downtown Disney Marketplace. We all got to walk around by ourselves and so me and kyla stalked the guys and they stalked us and omg SOO much fun! hahah. Yah. There was one part that i kinda got sad but happy at the same time. We were getting into the car and i got in after dallas but i forgot to wait for the poeple who needed to get to the back. So i had to sit on dallas's lap and then i kinda fell back and he put his hand on my back to catch me and i was just like woah, so this is what its like to be held like that. I mean, i know its kinda stupid and he was just making sure i didnt fall, but i dont know. i felt so safe in his arms and it was just nice. lol look at me rambling. anyways, so we went back to the hotel and RAN to make it to the pool before it closed. And so we all got in the pool and everyone started having chicken fights. And then i got on tyler's back and we were undefeated! WOOO GO TYLER AND ME! haha. But yah. I felt bad because I accidentally scratched Zack on his stomach and it looks really painful. I swear i didnt mean to though, sorry Zack =(. But yah. Then the next day we woke up at 6 and got ready for the race. Everyone kinda sucked liek i got a 26 but i should be getting a 25. But i guess i did ok. i mean, i got 3 minutes off my last time. But yah, we all hung out after the race. I felt so bad for tyler though. He couldnt breath at the end because of allergies or something so once he finished he walked and then sta down panting, so i stayed with him while other poeple walked off. Then dallas came up and us three were having a nice conversation until Ashlynn had to ruin it like i said b4. i swear, if shes not in the spotlight of all the guys, she will make DAMN sure she is. and it pisses me off so much. She thinks it gives her good attention but its giving her bad attention, as in people being annoyed. I love her to death and i feel bad but i need to vent because she just doesnt get hwo obnoxious she can be, even if she doesnt mean to. but yah. The car ride back was blah. Everyone was sleeping and crashed from the weekend. I would have slept but kyla was laying on me so i didnt want to make her move so i sucked it up and stayed awake lol. And then i went home and got the whole house to myself because my sissy had homecoming and my parents went out to dinner. I guess its good to see them actually acting like a couple for once. Well here are some photos of the trip ^_^.

So Many Birthdays...

I cant believe there are so many birthdays in the month of october. Like, Julia's was at the end of september, then Mcauley's was just a few days ago then Britanny's was today. Dude haha. I cant keep up lol. One more day and then I go to Orlando with the team. It's gonna be so much fun! Like, I bought a new bathing suit so I hope we get to go swimming. And then I get to talk to Dallas and hang out with Kyla and the whole team. It's gonna be great. Except TJ and Tyler kind of scare me. The older tyler though, cause there are two tylers on the team. The freshmen Tyler is really cool. He's so nice and all. But then the junior or senior tyler, he just plain scares me. As well as TJ. They act all immature and scary haha. I totally stole Julia's laptop again xP. Apparently it annoys her, sorry Jules. I just love ur laptop hehe ^_^.

Work, More Work and My Grades SUCK...

Ugh. So much work. It's strange though. Lately, i've been making sure i do all my work. Ive been studying, getting good grades and everything. But it's only biology that im struggling in. Mrs. Sauriol called me up today and im like am i gonna like what i see and shes like uh, lemme think no.. i was missing like 5 things, and one of em was even a test! And im like wtf i took that test. but it turns out these corrections were mandatory when i specifically remember her saying they werent. But w/e. I had pretty much everything else. But i was absent for one thing. But like, i saw my grade before i got everything fixed and it was a 63! 4 POINTS FROM AN F!!! And the grades go in next thursday! I have NEVER gotten even a C on a report card. Yah on a progress report but i have NEVER EVER EVER had a grade below a C. And now that it is coming down to this and its all so hard. and of course the one year im struggling this bad its my first year of high school at a gifted school and all my grades on report cards go on my transcript -.-. But i WILL kick butt this year ^_^. I promise you that. And i WILL get this grade up before report card grades go in.

Almost Weekend... I Guess...

Ugh the weekend is almost here. I cant wait just to be able to hang out and talk to all my friends on the cross country team, especially Dallas lol. But w/e. Ok, now school. There is so much homework. I told you the school is trying to ruin our lives lol. But, i know i will pull through. Ima go home, relax, run, eat then homework. What a life huh? SOOO exciting (cough cough sarcasm) lol. I can't wait for christmas this year. I hope I can get my mom a really nice present because she deserves it a lot. But like, not only that, but I really think ima be able to get a macbook. I REALLY want one, it is SO nice and practical and everythin. The programs are awesome and itll be SO easy hiding myspace from my parents. You just use this page thing and it makes it disappear without closing it or putting it on the dock. Myspace here I come ^_^. Haha.

Relationships...

It seems teenagers today dont even care about what a relationship means. Well i mean they do, but many take it for granted. I aint gonna say who or what or why but someone was completely stupid and threw away something that meant a lot to them. I guess i just take that stuff seriously a lot because I had to sit there my entire life and watch my dad neglect my mom and not care. And now that im at the age where im going to be in relationships, I want it to be real you know? Like julia and jack for example. They're a real happy couple and they understand and know what eachother is thinking and wants. They dont mess around or shit like that. I hate when people do that. It's just, why? I mean if you want stuff like that, talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about it. Dont break their heart over it. I mean, yah there are circumstances that I may not know of or understand, but still. I cant wait till i find that special someone. Ive screwed up a lot before while having a boyfriend. Well, it was only really once, and it was with michael. But i was young and didnt kniow what I was doing. Trust me michael, i feel horrible for breaking up with you not only once but three times =(. Im sorry. But im older now though. I know what thins mean and I always have julia when i need help or advice. I just wish I was given the opportunity. Anyways, I have so much work lately. I have so many projects and it is just SO hard at pineview. Im kind of wishing i could switch. I mean, I have no life and i want one. My mind wants to switch, but my heart doesnt. I love pine view, and everyone in it, i just hate the stress. Projects after projects, book reports, homework, short stories, book reviews its just ugh. And on top of that but I NEVER get to hang out like a normal teenager with my friends. They all live in Sarasota and so it aint liek my mom will drive an hour there and back, then another hour there to pick me up on normal work nights. I mean if i had my license and a car it might be a bit different. But its not, im only 14 -.-. I hate it. I just ugh. I mean i know i am getting a great education and have the BEST friends anyone could ask for, i swear. You compare your friends to mine and i KNOW mine will be so much more kick ass xP. But i never to see em. Im slowly making friends at nopo. So we'll see if i get a friendship with anyone where i can hang out with them outside of cross country. I kind of meet people through nicole, shes one of my best friends. And i go places with her and her friends so i meet people, but im too shy to be like hey we should hang out sometime. Damn shyness -.- lol. Well, halloween is almost here! Im probably gonna have kyla come over for the weekend and we can watch movies and scare all the little kids hehehehe jk jk xP. Idk well see. But yah. And then comes christmas. Then 2009. Isn't it strange how time goes by. Its this holiday, this birthday, this holiday, next year. Then it goes all over again. Whats the point? Wheres the purpose? Wheres the originality or excitement? I mean dont get me wrong i love holidays and everyone getting together and all of that fun stuff, I just wish I could do more stuff in between them. Basically, I WANT A LIFE! My own life, no dictation of parents, no rules of oh you have to be home here or you have to plan ahead of time, I just want a life. Im growing up too fast, but ive always been the more mature person. Always. Ive always had, no, HAD to do stuff on my own. I hate when people try to do stuff for me or go places for me when I can do it perfectly fine on my own. Its so annoying to me. Its my life, my choice, my heart, my mind, my decision, MY life.

Driving...

Today I got to go on backroads and drive for about an hour. It was so much fun! And i did really good too. I did as if ive been driving for ever lol. Yah I messed up once or twice when stopping too hard but that was it lol. But yah, ive just been really sad lately with Kido dieing and all. I really miss him and I walk in my room and it is so empty. I miss him so much. He was my baby =(. But yah. Today's run was a bit hard. My legs hurt like hell but i kept going, so you should be proud kyla haha.

Cross Country Meet...

Well im gonna start from friday night cause that was kinda big i guess. I went to the mall with my friend nicole and yah it was really fun. We met up with her two friends Shane and Steven and they were nice. Steven really likes nicole and i feel bad because she's kinda torn between the two. But i knwo shell make the right choice ^_^. Of course I got yelled at though because I didnt call when I did, a million times, both numbers. She just was looking on the wrong side of the mall. And of course she jumps out of the car when she sees me and walks up in front of EVERYONE and screams at me and im like WHAT THE FUCK but oh well. It was a miscommunication and we both apologized so ugh.. w/e lol. But then the next day i had to get up at 4 in the fucking morning -.-. But it was ok. We had a xc meet and it was AWESOME. I did horrible in time but hey, I just lost my ghecko, i didnt feel good and i was tired. I WILL do better at disney next weekend. And Dallas made it onto varsity ^_^. CONGRATULATIONS! So now I can hang with him at the hotel in orlando ^_^. But yah. It was fun though because we got into this HUGE water fight and me and tyler soaked Dennis with FREEZING water! I felt SO bad lol. And then afterwards I went to kyla's for a bit. We had fun. Me and her mom ganged up on her and sergio lol. But were just joking kyla. It all fun, nothing serious haha ^_^. I buried Kido yesterday. It was really sad. But I know he's in a better place. I miss you buddy.

May Kido Rest In Peace... I Love You With All My Heart...

Well, today was a really sad day. Kido, my leopard ghecko, has been having a lot of problems health wise. And, he hasnt been eating and all. Well, this morning I woke up and went to mist him first thing, and he didnt move like he usually does. He has been looking so horrible his legs wouldnt work and he wouldnt walk and wouldnt eat. But so he wouldnt move. And so i tried picking him up and I knew he was gone. Kido Unsinger passed the morning of 10/03/08. I will miss him soo much. I cant help but feel horrible about it because like, I tried feeding him for hours and he jsut wouldnt. But, I have to think of this as a good thing kind of because now he wont suffer anymore. And he can rest in peace. I love you kido. But yah, i was crying all this morning. But then all my wonderful friends kept chearing me up. I dont know what I would do without them. I would literally kill myself. Thank you guys for being the best family anyone could ever have. I have a cross country party tonight but I dont know if i want to go yet. Its just kinda awkward because all these girls look totally awesome in these cool bikinis and here i am sitting there in this old, worn down bathing suit and trunks -.- Way to look good Ashli, real smooth lol. But yah. I got like no sleep last night so im really drowsy haha. Ugh, Im glad it is the weekend. Theres a cross country meet tomorrow so ill get to see Dallas, so I guess that is good. I havent been talking to him a lot lately so w/e. He does have a gf and they do look really cute together. Id feel horrible if i got in the way of that. But that dont mean we cant be friends ^_^. I LOVE YOU KIDO! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

Birds...

Today was so annoying. I had to take care of the birds all by myself and of course it was the last day to do it so i had all this work i had to do. I did it the last day last time too. I swear i think amber plans to leave the very last day so she doesnt have to do all of the work. But anyways, today was so much fun! i swear we spun around again at lunch xP. im trying to get the video i made of yesterday it is so sweet xP. But yah, and that was that and then like i did ok in johnston on our book reviews. I actually think im gonna do ok! ^_^. But yah, Im really bored. I need something to do haha. Like, tomorrow im going to a cross country pool party, WOO lol. And then saturday there is another cross country meet. Im gonna try my hardest to keep up with kyla this time. If i can do that through out the whole race, ill be so happy! ^_^. I get nervous jsut thinking about it haha. But yah. No one is ever on myspace anymore -.- hahaha. And then on top of that but no one ever answers the phone lol. Im so lonely, I have no body, on my own OOOOHHHH hahaha jk jk lol. But seriously, bout the phone or myspace haha xP.