Relationships...

It seems teenagers today dont even care about what a relationship means. Well i mean they do, but many take it for granted. I aint gonna say who or what or why but someone was completely stupid and threw away something that meant a lot to them. I guess i just take that stuff seriously a lot because I had to sit there my entire life and watch my dad neglect my mom and not care. And now that im at the age where im going to be in relationships, I want it to be real you know? Like julia and jack for example. They're a real happy couple and they understand and know what eachother is thinking and wants. They dont mess around or shit like that. I hate when people do that. It's just, why? I mean if you want stuff like that, talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about it. Dont break their heart over it. I mean, yah there are circumstances that I may not know of or understand, but still. I cant wait till i find that special someone. Ive screwed up a lot before while having a boyfriend. Well, it was only really once, and it was with michael. But i was young and didnt kniow what I was doing. Trust me michael, i feel horrible for breaking up with you not only once but three times =(. Im sorry. But im older now though. I know what thins mean and I always have julia when i need help or advice. I just wish I was given the opportunity. Anyways, I have so much work lately. I have so many projects and it is just SO hard at pineview. Im kind of wishing i could switch. I mean, I have no life and i want one. My mind wants to switch, but my heart doesnt. I love pine view, and everyone in it, i just hate the stress. Projects after projects, book reports, homework, short stories, book reviews its just ugh. And on top of that but I NEVER get to hang out like a normal teenager with my friends. They all live in Sarasota and so it aint liek my mom will drive an hour there and back, then another hour there to pick me up on normal work nights. I mean if i had my license and a car it might be a bit different. But its not, im only 14 -.-. I hate it. I just ugh. I mean i know i am getting a great education and have the BEST friends anyone could ask for, i swear. You compare your friends to mine and i KNOW mine will be so much more kick ass xP. But i never to see em. Im slowly making friends at nopo. So we'll see if i get a friendship with anyone where i can hang out with them outside of cross country. I kind of meet people through nicole, shes one of my best friends. And i go places with her and her friends so i meet people, but im too shy to be like hey we should hang out sometime. Damn shyness -.- lol. Well, halloween is almost here! Im probably gonna have kyla come over for the weekend and we can watch movies and scare all the little kids hehehehe jk jk xP. Idk well see. But yah. And then comes christmas. Then 2009. Isn't it strange how time goes by. Its this holiday, this birthday, this holiday, next year. Then it goes all over again. Whats the point? Wheres the purpose? Wheres the originality or excitement? I mean dont get me wrong i love holidays and everyone getting together and all of that fun stuff, I just wish I could do more stuff in between them. Basically, I WANT A LIFE! My own life, no dictation of parents, no rules of oh you have to be home here or you have to plan ahead of time, I just want a life. Im growing up too fast, but ive always been the more mature person. Always. Ive always had, no, HAD to do stuff on my own. I hate when people try to do stuff for me or go places for me when I can do it perfectly fine on my own. Its so annoying to me. Its my life, my choice, my heart, my mind, my decision, MY life.