Fun With The Issues...

Well, yesterday was fun. Madison came over yesterday and it was only me and her for most of the day because my mom was working, amber was babysitting and my dad was golfing. We just hung out and played rockband and then amber came home, and my mom right after amber. But, then we all hung out and my parents went to this New Years Party. So we played rockband some more. But, then, Nicole called and she needed to talk so she came over. And it was more problems with her dad. So i told nicole to stay at my place. And, i told my parents so she spent the night too. We all played rockband and then we made stupid videos! haha. I played an australian explorer and Nicole was a dinosaur and Madison was a madison haha. And then me and amber did Sumo wrestling xP! It was all fun till my head was slammed into a metal pole. Can you say ouch?! I had a HUGE lump on my head and now i cant lay down on that side. But overall it was fun. OH! Then when we were laying down, madison's dad had to be all gayy and pathetic and he got drunk, this whole argument with Sharon and yada yada yada. He needs to get over his pathetic whiny-ass attitude and just leave her instead of complaining 24/7. But yah. but anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAC!!! AND HAPPY NEW YEARS TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!! 2009 BABY WOO!!

Kyla...

Well I got to hang out with kyla today. It was fun. I had to walk there -.-, but w.e lol. We got there and we had to go to the bank, library and then the store. But, yah. then we went to her grandparents house and played on the Wii and stuff. I totally rocked at tennis xP. Even though I kind of tied with them, i still rock lol. But yah. We had pizza and stuff. But, of course, now at night and im at home, my mom comes in and tells me im grounded because i went to nicole's without permission and im like why?! we talked about this and i thought u understood why i chose to do that. And she's like well thats all i hear your dad complainging about. My dad keeps going to my mom bitching about how im not in trouble. I swear he's looking for something to get pissed at me for! The bastard. Fuck him. Mom and I had the nicest conversation and she understood why I did what I did. Permission or not, my best friend was missing for days. I searched for ever for her. And now that I hear she's back, fuck you im making sure she's ok. So w.e.

Permission or No Permission...

Well, obviously I went and say Nicole earlier. Well, I thought I was clear free, because i never even asked to go. But I got home b4 my parents and everything and then, my mom noticed i called the home phone. Stupid stupid me. Well my dad got pissed and me, started yelling at me and honestly i couldnt care less. Yell all you want dad. My best friend was missing, I was making sure she was ok, so go fuck urself. Yup. My mom is ok because we had a long talk and she understands but my dad, never! He doesn't have one ounce of sympathy in him. He's a cold, selfish, apathetic man. But i dont care. My mom was mad at me too there for a second. But, i mean, come on! I was searching for hours last night for nicole. she's my best friend.

Well, It's All Kind If Resolved...

Well, last night was fun... NOT. No one saw nicole since friday and no one could get a hold of her. I was scared to death. I searched for over 2 hours and asked all of these random people that I think know her and shit. But she was found. And im at her house now. And, well apparently she was with a friend. But she's home. And when i got here the cops came and it wasnt that long that they were here. But im just so relieved that shes safe.

Even More Family Problems...

Well yesterday was hell. After everything with Jamie coming down and stuff, my mom and dad got in an argument. And then  my dad was pissed and needed someone to take his anger out on. me. of course im not gonna take that shit anymore. Screw him, this is my life. But in the middle of me talking to madison through the webcam, so she can hear all of it, he comes in my room, starts screaming at me because im on my laptop, and he just said some heartless things. and im so not afraid of him anymore. he cant treat me like that. so i started screaming back. and then he screams saying, "I didnt raise of bunch of ungrateful selfish bitches!" He literally called me a bitch! So i screamed back, "Dont you dare call me that! Thats how your acting!" And my dad got all up in my face and so i told him to get out of my face and then my mom stepped in and ugh. And so then i had to go out with my grandma and hailey, after everything that had just happened. But i have to admit it was fun. Our grandma took us to kidstar. At first it was kinda corny because its a little kid place, so we were just trying to make our grandma happy. But then she paid for us to do go-carts twice, glow in the dark mini golf and laser tag. The glow in the dark mini golf was fun because in the middle of it, this thing popped out out of no where and started talking and we screamed haha. And then the laser tag was really fun cause as we were waiting this group of 4 people walked in. And the guy was like well they were here first but you guys can play together if you want. So we were all like ok sure sounds fun. But then once we got all geared up, i realized we were a different color from them. Me and Hailey were versing 4 people! hahaha. it was fun lol. But of course when i got home my mom wasnt there. And when i walked in the house my dad was on the couch. And i had absolutely nothing to say to him.  I was pissed beyond comprehension. so i just walked into my room and was laying on my laptop. And then he slams my door open and starts screaming at me again. He said, "you know what? i dont care if you hate. Why dont you go call DCF on me again and tell them how horrible of a father i am. Better yet, ill go call them for you. you got what you wanted the laptop, and now your done with your family." and heres where he really screamed. "Im not helping any of your friends, im not helping you. Your ungrateful and i swear to god. You dont even fucking care." And he slammed my door really hard. And i was just speechless because he brought up the child services thing. He doesnt know how it feels to know i caused that. I swear to god i hate him! He can go rot in hell! im not speaking to him. OH! And then when my mom got home and realized i was balling my eyes out, i told her what happened, and she went and yelled at my dad. So i walked out into the living room right as my dad was saying, "Its like she doesnt even wanna be in this family!" And i had the most pissed look at him, and he was like what do you have a problem? And im like "How the hell do i not wanna be in this family?! i hang out with mom all the time!" and he was like "well maybe its just me then" And so i screamed so fucking loud "MAYBE IT IS!!!!" and then he argued with my mom some more. And later on he said to me "I dont care if you hate me, but im still your father and you will speak to me with respect" so i said "no". Like hell im gonna show that bastard respect. if it were up to me he would have never even came back home after he cheated on my mom this summer. Oh rite, no cheating on ur mom sure shows how much you care and wanna be in this family! Let this be noted to the whole world, my dad, steve, is dead to me. 

This Is So Overrated...

Well, today Jamie and Cameron are leaving. And of course with everything that has happened, my mom is stressed. But today, before they left, Cameron wanted to come over to spend time with me and amber. But then instead of my grandma to come pick him up, jamie did. And of course my mom makes this huge deal over it. Jamie didnt do anything to her. I know she started yelling at my mom and shouldn't of jumped into that argument last christmas, but she was only doing that because she didnt want my mom to take me and amber away. she wanted to spend time with us, and this whole stupid argument is tearing us apart. And so now my mom and my dad are in an argument because my dad thinks that my mom shouldn't take this out on jamie either. its all so retarted. I hate this. 

Fun Day...

Well today was fun. I was able to hang out with Jamie and Cameron again. It was nice to have all the cousins together.. for once -.- But anyways, amber and I went over there and then we went to the mall. And we walked around. Omg it was funny when Jamie was going to get in the little car ride thing for babies and this kid was in line hahahahahahah she even started blushing haha. We just walked around till our movie started. We saw Yes Man. It was so fucking hilarious!!! haha but also gross; by gross i mean it showed old, wrinkled butts... 0.o yah i know. But after the movie we just waited around for my g-ma. then when we got back to the house we played imagineiff, mad gab, and apples to apples. it was fun. And now im using my webcam and talking to my cousin madison while i type this lol. So yah fun day fun day haha.

Gay Ass Family Issues...

Well, its the morning after christmas. And of course i wake up to my mom crying and this huge damn argument going on. Its so fucking retarted. Amber had to open up her big mouth and talk about my Aunt Teri and all that shit. I swear she doesnt think before she speaks. She'll say anything she wants and its all like no big deal. But in the end, she completely destroyed my mom's feelings. Dont get me wrong i think my mom is taking this all too far. I mean, its not like Amber intended it to be about her, and not only that, but she just needs to let all this Teri shit go. I mean, yah Teri hurt you, we're sorry, but she IS family and nothing can change that. And to top that off, she does the same exact thing as Teri! Shell deride and ridicule a gibe Teri not even realizing she's using what Teri does to justify her emotions. I swear my whole family is fucked up. But unfortunately, i still love em. :/ love is fucked up haha

Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Well today was nice. My family and I woke up, of course i was the first one; so i just decided to open my stocking. It was so funny because our cats have a stocking too, so i opened theirs with them, and Maximus kept trying to look intot he stocking as if he knew what was going on. I swear they understand me lol. But it was cute. Maximus and Lexie got tiny mice toys, a jingley ball thing with feathers, and cat treats lol. But i had to w8 for everyone to wake up, and on christmas everyone knows that seems like 4ever lol. but yah. We all were opening presents, and amber kept getting one after the other, but i already knew i got my laptop, which means that cost a lot of money. So i was like id rather just have my laptop than anything else lol. Overall i got skinny jeans, an amazing tank top, an aeropostale shirt, a golden feather necklace, a peridot necklace, rockband and a laptop. lol. Rockband is so awesome but my laptop is amazing too lol. And then we went to my grandma's for a christmas dinner. My cousin Hailey is still here so it was nice spending time with her. We played Rockband a lot. Im still at my grandma's right now. So yah.

Wow It Has Been A Long Time..

Well, i realized that i dont talk much about what im feeling. so yah, ima start using this again lol. well, it has been a decent past 2 months. evrything is falling into place, i guess. well i like my life atm, there well go with that. but, its christmas today. its been really nice. it actually feels like a family when we all sit around the tree and open the presents and stuff. i got this new laptop, which is AMAZING! thats what im typing on right now. xP coolness. lol. well, relationship wise im still single. it never happened with taylor but ive been talking to dallas. idk, i get so confused. he realizes that he chooses girls who dont care, but the one who does he never goes for. and like, he flirts and stuff, but he never does anything. if you like me dallas, make a move. dont just lead me on. its not fair to me :/ but dont worry, i care about you and always will :). well, i found out austin liked me. i kinda panicked if you know what i mean. its just, hes a good friend and i never wanna lose him, but only as a friend. nothing more. thats it. so i told him i was gonna hook up with dallas. it worked. but then i knew emily liked him. so i hooked em up. this is nothing personal against austin, but the second i said emily liked him, he was like oh i liked her the whole time. idk i guess that was just kinda low, showing how little of me he thought. i dont like him or anything so dont get me wrong, but it kinda hurt. like, i see all these people go in and out of relationships like nothing. but the one prson who wants one and wants to care about someone and be loved, i cant have that. but w.e. id rather w8 for the right person instead of a shitty relationship. my grades slipped there for a moment. idk i just didnt feel like trying. i kinda wanna switch schools to nphs, but i dont think thatll ever happen. i brought it up to my mom but basically what she told me is im throwing my life away by even thinking about it. so out the window that goes lol. sergio and amanda have been dating and all sorts of shit has been happening because of it. not saying its their fault, i think theyre happy and thats all that matters, but this and that and w.e. i just hope everybody figures things out because i hate seeing everyone sad. ive been getting really close to nicole l8ly. its nice. we lost our friendship there for a lil but were best friends now. and thats the way i like it. weve been best friends since kindergarten, and i do have to admit what happened between us was kinda my fault. :/ but its all good now ^_^ she lives close to me too so we get to hang a lot. well, ill keep posting. this computer has a program where i can just click, type and post. i dont even have to log on to blogger, which is sweet. so my diary is back on! well blog, w.e you wanna call the damn thing lol xP. peace out.