I Finally Hung Out With Taylor...

Well, today was really nice after what yesterday entailed. i completely broke down in the middle of history. it was horrible. and i realized all my grades were slipping because of my depression. and, i guess it just all got to me when mrs. johnston wanted to talk. it was harsh, but she was being nice. she told me how she was observing how my mind works and said i have one of the best history brains in the class so she doesnt understand why i did so bad on the test. so i told her the truth; that i had a lot going on and ive just been so depressed and my mind just wasnt with me. but in the process of telling her this, i started balling my fucking eyes out and ugh. so shes all well you can always talk to me if u need to and i can help you study if u want. and im like ok. so it was harsh, in the sense that i broke down in front of everyone and their all looking at me like wtf. but its over now. the darkest days are behind me. today, i got so sick of being depressed. i hung out with taylor, and i was just so happy. i could swim in his eyes. those crystal blue eyes. i swear. i had to like remind myself to listen to what hes saying. and i actually had to try not to smile. i wanted to just sit there, stare into his beautiful eyes, smile and cry all at the same time. but, it was nice. i love talking to him. like u have no idea. hes my escape to everything. to everything. it was annoying cause we werent alone. but, what ever. i just had to grin and bear it. it bugged me, cause all day i couldnt stop saying how much i wanted to be alone, but what ever. at least i got to see him none the less. but then when i got home, i was just thinking by myself in my room. and im like, i was truly, genuinely happy today. being with him. and not to sound like some stalker or anything, but so when ever i get really depressed i think of talking to him and it goes away. so tonight, i did all my hw and i cleaned my room. i cleaned out my backpack. got rid of all the trash. idk. i guess it was kind of symbolizing me getting rid of all the shitty emotions and thoughts in my head. but either way, it was me turning a new leaf. im sick of being depressed. and even tho i still feel a bit sad, im finding my way out of the hole. im climbing out and i will see the sun again soon.